Originally posted on May 17, 2012...
In my former life I worked in the sales industry. It was competitve. It was aggressive. It was what I did. In that field you have to be turned on at all times. For every minute that you spend checking your personal email or having a chat at the water cooler you miss out on money. That's what sales is about. A commission. You must be consistently productive to achieve any type of success.
Since becoming a mother and staying at home I have had a hard time adjusting to the lack of pressure. Motherhood isn't a competition and there certainly isn't a commission to be earned at the end of the month. Just hugs, kisses and milestones. So what keeps you going? What keeps us from becoming frumpy old housewives? Well, for me I think it has to be my type A personality. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to turn it off.
I actually feel guilty if I don't take my daughter on an outing everyday. It feels strange to stay home for the entire day. I also I have not been able to do that whole "sleep while the baby is sleeping" thing, or even take a break when she naps. I feel that those are my opportunities to cook dinner or clean. I can get it done much faster when she's not clinging to my leg or asking to be held. However, after a few weeks of the constant going I do hit a wall. Today, I ran into one full speed. So, I did something I rarely ever do. When she went down for her nap I turned on the tv, peeped inside the DVR and caught myself up on one of my favorite shows.
I just sat there with a glass of tea. I must admit that midway thru the show instead of fast forwarding thru the commercials I got dinner started. What I realized was that it is completely okay to have one day a week where we don't have a plan. We don't have to go anywhere. I discovered today that she is completely happy playing with her toys right here in the comfort of our own home. I do not have to be turned on all the time. Every second doesn't have to be filled with flash cards or story time. She is happy playing and dancing and pretending. It's okay for me to have an hour of downtime. After all, I'm a Mom not a Ring Master. No one is buying tickets to this show. It's not a competition. I'm not going to get an award for doing the most housework or having dinner done by five. So, I can relax. It's ok.
I love this post, Tia. I totally feel you on this. There was a time when I felt like I always had to be doing something productive. Everything at home always had to be in order. And I could never just "sleep when the baby sleeps" because I had to get dinner prepped or laundry done. But one day I realized that I needed my own downtime every now and again or I was gonna be unhappy--that or all I was gonna remember from my kids growing up was that I was constantly hounding them about keeping everything tidy or I was always a step ahead by keeping busy, multi-tasking, and burning out before my very eyes.
ReplyDeleteI might could use just a little more structure around here now, but it feels so much better. My home is more warm, inviting, and better fills our family's purpose. I'm happy with watching my shows, doing my manicures, and playing in my makeup from time to time (lol) instead of making sure everything is just so. My children can enjoy playing and creating without me barking about the fact that I had just cleaned their rooms too. It's no pressure and it still feels good to be the home manager around here. We aren't perfect and it's okay. Reading your post helped me realize that our lives aren't a show and there is no competition.
I love being able to reach out and relate to someone else about these matters. Thanks for sharing, Tia and being authentically you! :-)
Thank you for such a wonderful comment! I am slowly learning that I don't have to be doing something every single second. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
DeleteWhat I've learned is we can drive ourselves crazy with our own foolishness. I think it is all a progression. I was once there but now I don't force myself if I don't feel like doing certain things because I know they will get done. Right now I am sitting in the dark, watching RHOA and typing on my laptop. Something I never do, but I am enjoying this moment. There are tons of other things I could be doing but I'm not going to do them and I don't care!
ReplyDeleteJust live. That's my motto. We know what our responsibilities are trust yourself to get them done while taking out a moment for yourself!
And that's what I've been doing, driving myself crazy. It's got to stop. I am learning to stop and enjoy down time. I always feel better afterwards… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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