Can I just say that motherhood and parenting is not a competition. It's not a sport. You're not going to get a trophy or a prize when you're child meets certain milestones, goes off to college or turns out to be a stand up human being. I'll double check with my Mom but I am pretty sure she hasn't received any kind of award for being a great Mother. (other than the sheer joy of seeing how awesome me and my brothers are)
You would think that just seeing your child do well would be enough of a 'prize'. The gratification and the unconditional love you receive from your child should be all the praise one needs for being a good parent. But nope. Some of these Moms out here need to know that their child is best and first. Your child started sitting up before mine? That's nice. Your child started sleeping through the night before mine? That's great. Annnnd guess what?
I don't care. All children grow and change in their own time.
I am not in competition with any other Mom. None of us are. The best thing we can all do for ourselves is to stay in our own lane with our own kids. Focus on what's going on with your own children. Someone else's kid may be 'doing more' than your child. Their child might be 'more behaved' but focusing on that does absolutely nothing for me or my kids.
So. The next time any of us find ourselves comparing the parenting, development or behavior of another to our own let's remember…this is not (ain't) the olympics. She's not going to get a gold medal for what she's doing with her kids and you're not going to get a bronze medal for what you're doing with yours.
There is no first, second or third place.
I am not in competition with her. She's not in competition with me.
It's not like any of us will be getting rated or evaluated for a possible promotion so stop competing with that woman.
This is not a race. There is no finish line. There are no trophies or medals. She is not winning. You are not losing.
Well said!
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!
DeleteThanks for stopping by! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is highly annoying. I have to agree with you. I think it's the proud look. People do it even the more as their kids get older and they're on the honor roll and they got accepted into this college or that college. In the end, I just think people need to stop, but even if they won't I just can't be bothered. My focus is to please God by being the wife and mother He called me to be. Hubby and I have such a different parenting style and philosophy from how we see around us and how we were raised. It feels nice not to be too close to have people constantly saying things to us. I guess it's the benefit of being over 2000 miles away. You miss people once in a while so you call. If they say some silly things like you are talking about in your post, you just deaf ear them and move on lol.
ReplyDeleteYep. Some women feel the need to one up everyone with their children's accomplishments. It's silly.
DeleteThis post took me BACK! Yes my kid is smarter, flyer, cuter, and well behaved than yours. Isnt that want motherhood is all about? Riiiight! I think that they feel the smarter or well behaved the kid is that it is 100 percent a testament to their parenting. Thus trying to shame all others. Good post.
ReplyDeleteSoooo enjoyed this post! Reminds me of when my older two were babies. Women (and some men I know) act like they're gonna get a shiny trophy or all A's on their parenting report card, girl. I wish we could band together more, instead of trying to always find a way to compete.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!