Keeping Your Relationship Healthy After Kids...

As a mom, you understand how rewarding having children and a family can be. From their first steps to their first day of school, your goal as a parent is to be there for them as they grow and develop. However, in your quest to be the best mom you can be, your personal life takes a back seat. Your marriage may suffer, too, because you no longer have the intimate time you once had with your mate. As your worries shift from yourself and your partner to your children, your marriage isn't your focus or priority anymore and may become neglected.

You're not failing your kids if you put your marriage first, however. Marriages need just as much nurturing as our children do. According to Parents.com. "When you put your marriage on the back burner, your kids can sense the lack of closeness between you." Therefore, you must make time for you and your spouse because it will create a number of positive outcomes, including the improvement of your marriage and enrichment of your ability to show your children how to develop positive relationship skills.

You probably recognized the change in your marriage once you entered parenthood. Your children obviously began to take precedence over personal hobbies and professional endeavors, while your partner faded into the background. You've given up just about everything in your life—from your bed to your time, not much in your life is solely yours when you have young children. This is particularly true when it comes to your relationship.

According to a recent Net Mums survey, almost 80 percent of women report a reduction in the amount of sex they've had since having children. Most of the surveyed mothers claimed to make love with their significant others about once a week. Obviously, you and your mate can no longer spend those intimate moments you once enjoyed together prior to having little ones. However, it's important that you work to maintain a healthy balance between your children and your relationship.

Communication is vital to any relationship, but romantic relationships in particular must have a strong line of communication. As Buzzle suggests, maintaining open communication with your spouse brings you closer together as a couple and helps you resolve issues quicker and more effectively. If you're frustrated with the lack of intimacy in your relationship, don't be afraid to voice this to your partner. At the same time, figure out ways to better your communication. Whether it's five minutes to connect in the morning/before bed or spending an hour hashing out the details of your day, you must make a point to touch base with your mate at least once a day.

Remember to use this time to discuss topics other than your children and family. Instead, focus on your life together as a couple or personal issues. Talk about the mundane details of your day or your new dreams and goals—just be sure to have this open dialogue with your partner each and every day. This will make your bond as a couple stronger and can even re-spark some of the desires that may have waned after you started growing your family.

Sex is essential to any romantic relationship, and you and your partner need intimacy for your relationship to thrive. According to Women's Health Magazine, lack of sex is a common marriage problem that could lead to unfulfilled desires being perceived as rejection. To combat a sexual rut or prolonged sexual dry spell, schedule it into your routine. Figure out a time when both you and your mate are free, and take a break for some sexual intimacy.

Whether you go for a quick love session or a full-on sex fest, make time to show your partner some physical loving. Not only could this boost your relationship and add some passion to your marriage, it could also intensify your libido. Also, keep in mind that there are other ways to show you partner affection besides the actual act of having sex. Small, tender acts of affection—a simple caress of the cheek or holding hands—can signal emotional connectedness and higher levels of empathy, as Adam & Eve details here. This can in turn create a more affable environment for sexual interaction.

In addition to enhancing the romance between the sheets, you must also pay attention to the emotional intimacy you share with your mate. Explore the passion you have for your significant other outside of the bedroom. Start by incorporating activities like date night. In a 2012 study conducted by the National Marriage Project, date nights are a valuable way for couples to spend some time to themselves and can heighten marital happiness. You don't have to go to great lengths to be successful, either.

A simple dinner and movie does wonders, or, if you'd like to switch things up, try a new activity like taking a couple's cooking class or going on a whiskey distillery tour. Even if you can't go anywhere, you and your partner should still enjoy a relaxing evening alone at least once a month. Send the kids to your parents, prepare a meal together, and have a romantic date at home. By integrating date night in your relationship, the two of you will have some much needed time to focus on each other and your relationship.

Married & Dating: A Lasagna Dinner

Yay! So today is the first month for the Married & Dating link up! This is a link up that celebrates the courtship that exists in marriage. As women, we're busy with kids and work and sometimes it's hard to make time to keep the dating relationship alive with our husbands.

For us, it's hard to get a traditional date night. We don't have a sitter unless family comes to visit so many of our dates are done as a family or right here at home. My husband and I really try to make the most out of our time after our kids go to sleep. That's why I am a stickler for that seven thirty bedtime…

Today was no different. I mentioned before that I love creating my husband's favorite meals for him. So this weekend I wanted to do lasagna with a twist. We started off dinner with a salad. (If you look really close you can see Sav on her tricycle.)

For the lasagna I tried something new. I might share the "recipe" in a different post if anyone wants it. This was a Chicken and Shrimp Pesto pasta with Mushrooms and Zucchini. It was banging. My husband loved it. For dessert we had brownie fudge chocolate chip cookies courtesy of Pillsbury. They were so good and we devoted them before I could take a pic. 
After our tummies were nice and full we snuggled up on the couch to catch up on our DVR. I had previously recorded Silver Linings Playbook. Ever since I saw it get so much acclaim during the awards season last year I wanted to see it. Just in case it wasn't good we had Argo as a back up.  I feel like someone's DVR says a lot about them, LOL! Check out our mix of kid friendly and adult only shows up there. Banshee is such a good show... And here is my look from today on our way home from church. My husband likes the all natural look. It was super windy so I wore a hat to church with my LBD. Once we were home I changed into a more relaxed outfit.
During the week things are so busy that we don't get to have a lot of quality time together so I really cherish our time together on the weekends. This is what I call a home date or couch date. Can't wait to link up with everyone again next month! We'll be doing this on the third Monday of every month.
What do you think about the lasagna I made? Would you like the "recipe"?

Coming Soon: Married & Dating - A New Series

Every third Monday of the month (March 17th) I'll be sharing a date night that my husband and I have recently had. This is a series that I'll be hosting along with Baby Teems, Drea from So She Writes by Miss Dre and Carissa from The Green Eyed Lady blog.

We are asking other bloggers to join us and share how they date while married. Celebrating the courtship in marriage isn't something you see often. We hope that this new series will encourage married couples to keep the sparks in their relationships flying.

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Giveaway: After Bedtime Fun...

I feel like Varnell Hill from Martin… "Did ya miss me?!"

I know it's been a week since I've updated the blog. My kids and husband have been fighting pretty bad colds. The kids actually got better after a couple days. My husband is still on the sick and shut-in list. Pray for a brother.

Anyway. I always promised myself that I would make my thirties all about getting in great shape and strengthening my relationships. If you come by here often, you've read all about my husband and I. How we met, fell in love, got married young - all that.

I feel that it is so important to foster the relationship with my husband. One way to do that is by trying new things to keep our lives interesting. Our trip to Vegas was amazing. We really got a chance to reconnect and have fun with each other.

While I can't giveaway a couple's getaway I can giveaway the next best thing. A couple's kit from Nite Time Toys.

People don't like to discuss their sex lives. I can respect that. However, if you have kids then it is pretty obvious that you like to get it poppin' every now and then. Why not try to spice things up a bit by trying something new? This couple's kit is valued at $200. Enter for your chance to win below, Good Luck!

Oh. And if you prefer to just buy a little something for you and your man feel free to use this exclusive discount code while you're shopping, ChicMom. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*This is a sponsored post. All opinions expressed are my own.*

Vegas Recap: Flirty 30 Day Two

Day Two got off to a great start. I had read lots of reviews about Hash House a Go Go and I really wanted to eat breakfast there. We got dressed and headed over to the Quad to get in line for a table. 

This was my look for the day. I am in absolute love with my sweater coat. It was perfect for the chilly temps. My scarf is a gift from my Mom. I've had it for years and I thought it was a nice touch to the coat. What do you think?

On the way to breakfast (It was like a five minute walk) we passed by a star that said "Diva". My husband spotted it first and pointed it out to me. Was he trying to tell me something about myself? LOL! I had to take a pic next to it!

During our wait for a table we chatted it up a bit and hung out. There were tons of people waiting. The restaurant was cranking people in and out though. I don't remember our wait being extremely long, maybe thirty minutes or so. When you don't have kids with you a wait doesn't seem that bad. 

At breakfast I ordered the The Tractor Driver combo. I am a sucker for pancakes and potatoes. This was so amazingly delicious. Do you see how big that pancake is? I couldn't eat the whole thing but I wanted to. I enjoyed a mimosa with my breakfast. Our server was great. He let us know that it would be a longer than usual wait for food because everything is cooked from scratch to order. Yum!

At the table next to us there was a girl celebrating her 21st birthday. I told her it was my birthday too. She must've told the waiter because before he gave us our check he bought this out to the table. Nothing like an ice-cream sundae to start your morning on your birthday...

After walking around the Forum Shops in Caesar's Palace and doing a little shopping (mainly at the Nike store. Jeanette Jenkins has me obsessed with Nike gear. I blame her for my recent addiction) it was time to head back to the room to get ready for dinner.

We (I) took a little bit longer than expected getting dressed. I can't believe it but I didn't get one pic of my entire birthday dinner look. I did manage to get a quick pic of my handsome hubby though...

Here I am from the torso up at dinner...

I wore a skirt and crop top sequin number with some strappy shoes. It was cute. The food was even better than what I had on though. I got the lamb. He got a porterhouse steak. Our sides were brussel sprouts and truffled mash potatoes (i would smack somebody's mama right now for some of those). This is the best dinner we've had in a long time.

We had an amazing view of the Bellagio fountains at dinner. You'll see a bit of that in the video below. Before leaving our server gifted me with a birthday dessert...

After dinner I changed into something more comfortable for gambling, dancing and drinks. My husband took the pic below and he cropped it to oblivion before sending it to me. Sorry about that...

More random footage from day two in Vegas is below. I am living this trip all over again in these posts.

7 Days of Love: Romantic Dinner Date

They always say that the way to a man's heart is thru his stomach. That couldn't be more true for my husband. I make him dinner everyday but every now and then I make something a bit yummier than my normal crock pot one pot weekday wonders. When I really want him to feel extra special I make one of his favorite meals that he'd order if we were out at dinner.

He always orders a salad with his meals when we're out for dinner so I make sure to do that for him at home. Then I'll make his favorite pasta dish and we'll have brownies for dessert. Come to think of it tonight's dinner would have been perfect to share. I made a steak and shrimp pasta with mushrooms, spinach and roasted zucchini. It was delish. 

I tried to find some pins that are similar to what we had tonight. Pair this with his favorite wine (or beer if he's a beer guy like my man) and one of those outfits from yesterday's post and you're all set for a great start to a nice evening. 

Visit Fatima, Drea and Carissa to see more romantic dinner ideas!

7 Days of Love: Sexy Date Night Outfit

I am going to keep it all the way real with you. We hardly ever get out for dates outside of the house. We don't live close to friends or family so a true date night is hard to come by. Since most of our dates happen here at home that's the outfit I'll be sharing with you today. 

Once the kids are asleep my husband normally preps the living room for our movie or DVR mini marathon. While he's doing that I shower and find something to wear. My husband appreciates the dressed down, relaxed, girl next door look. If I'm being honest I love it too. There's something so sexy about not being so over the top.

My favorite date night outfit has to be some shorts that fit perfect. Short enough to be inappropriate for public wear but still long enough to not be considered panties. I normally pair that with a fitted tank top but I'm also loving these new sheer crop tops I recently bought.

pajamas by thechicsahm featuring tall shirts

So what do you think? You probably didn't expect to see this. Don't worry. I have plenty of 'real' outfits    coming up in my Vegas recap. To see more sexy date night outfits visit Baby Teems, The Green Eyed Lady Blog and So She Writes by Miss Dre.

7 Days of Love: Our First Kiss

I am going to do my best to remember this story. It happened back in 2002 so that's a very long time ago. If I'm not mistaken I think our first kiss was on our first date. 

I think I talked about this before but I met my husband during minority weekend at our college. Before school started that Fall I returned to campus for Freshman orientation. My bestie and I went together and I remember being so excited about learning more about the college experience.

One night after all of the mandatory fun was over my bestie and I had a double date with my husband and his best friend. (If guys don't say best friend, sorry, I had no idea what else to call him. They are besties. Pretty sure I'm gonna get killed for this too, LOL) We went to see Undercover Brother. Later we had dinner at Outback Steakhouse.

The date went great. I remember how funny and cool I thought my husband and his friend were. They had very laid back personalities. They weren't trying too hard. They were just fun to be around. Our friends didn't hit it off at all but my husband and I had immediate chemistry. 

We had our first kiss after that date. I remember thinking, "Well that's not how the boys kiss in high school." Hahaha! It was great. I actually remember my husband telling me, "There was no way I wasn't going to try to kiss you tonight." Swoon.

Here we are on our first date. Before this kiss…

To see more first kiss stories visit So She Writes by Miss Dre, The Green Eyed Lady Blog and Baby Teems.

7 Days of Love: How I Keep My Marriage Hot and Sexy

I think so much goes into keeping a marriage hot. For me personally, the first thing I do to keep my marriage popping is to feel good about myself. I workout, eat good and I try to make time for myself. I strongly believe that having a life outside of your marriage keeps things interesting. When I feel good about myself it makes me happy and you know what they say, "Happy wife. Happy life."

As a soldier my husband works long hours. Between their workouts and his actual work schedule he's gone for the majority of the day. I always try to make sure that dinner is ready when he gets home. It's the little things. I know he's going to be starving when he walks thru the door. Having dinner done is my way of saying thanks for all you do on a daily basis. We have dinner as a family at the table. This gives us a chance to connect and talk before I start the kids bedtime routine.

Having these kids in bed at a decent hour does wonders for my marriage. My husband and I enjoy watching TV together. Our favorite shows get DVR'd and we catch up together. Another thing I did to keep the sexy in my marriage was get these kids sleeping in their own beds. Let's face it, your husband wants to sleep with you not you and the kids. It took a lot of work for me to get them sleeping in their own beds every night and it's been great for my marriage.

Our recent getaway to Vegas did wonders for us. It was a beautiful thing being alone with him for those three days. Date nights are great too but this trip was everything. It reminded me what it was like before the babies. I think we both needed that.

So I keep my marriage rocking by feeling good about myself, cooking dinner for my man and making sure we get ample amounts of alone time to reconnect. How do you keep your marriage hot and sexy?

For more posts in the 7 Days of Love series check out my fellow motherhood lifestyle bloggers Baby Teems, So She Writes by Miss Dre and The Green Eyed Lady Blog.

Seven Days of Love: My Husband Reminds Me Of...

It's my last night in Vegas and I made time to write a blog post. That's real love. 

Alright. If I had to pick one look-a-like for my husband it would be Derek Luke. He's the actor that played Antwone Fisher. He's been in lots of other great movies too, like Miracle at St. Anna. 

At first I didn't see the similarities that they share but now I do. Ever since college people have been telling me that they favor one another. People that haven't even seen him real life will mention that he looks like Derek Luke. I think I am starting to agree with them.

He is going to kill me for this but here they are side by side…

Sooo what do you think? Do you think they look alike?

Seven Days of Love: Marriage Has Taught Me...

For Valentine's Day I'm collaborating with some amazing motherhood lifestyle bloggers to reflect on love, marriage and how to keep things spicy while living this mommy life. To see the other posts in this 7 Days of Love Series visit The Green-Eyed Lady Blog, So She Writes by Miss Dre and Baby Teems.

When I think about my own marriage, I think about a girl who was so young. I'm not even sure what my expectations were of marriage back then. I just knew I wanted to be happy and I knew I was making a great decision marrying my husband. That was back then.

Now that we've been married for eight years I would have to say I have learned a lot about myself and about marriage. My marriage has taught me that it's okay to be exactly who you are. It's taught me it's okay to speak my mind and be a strong presence. I can be in charge and aggressive without being afraid of someone else's opinion. My marriage has taught me how to be a grown up. A grown woman.

My marriage makes me fearless and free. I have talked about this before on this blog. Here and here. My marriage has taught me to hang in there when things are tough and enjoy every second when things are amazing. Marriage has taught me to be more compassionate and a lot less self centered.

What has your marriage taught you?

It's Our Anniversary! Celebrating 8 Years...

It's hard to believe that I've been married for eight years already. Whoa. Time is flying. I don't talk much about marriage or my husband here. Mainly because I feel like we're so incredibly normal (in a good way) that there really isn't much to say that would be overly entertaining. 

You might remember I told you a little bit about how we met in college and got married before I even graduated. (i graduated the following semester) He had already graduated from school and joined the Army. I was 21 and he was 25. Crazy, right?

After our wedding I went back to school for my last semester and he went back to Virginia to finish his training. I remember driving to see him on Thursdays after school. I didn't have class on Fridays so we'd get three days to hang out. I'd stay until Monday morning and I would haul butt to make it back in time for my eight AM class. Very crazy. So many speeding tickets. 

It was all worth it though. Since then we've moved four times and welcomed two beautiful babies into our lives. Here I am below pregnant with Savannah (and newly natural). These years have flown by. We have our fair share of disagreements like most people. However, I think what makes us work is our ability to laugh at everything. I also think that keeping additional people out of your business helps too but I'm really trying to keep this post light…

So. Raise a glass for us tonight. Eight years down. Forever to go...