This is a post that's been on my mind for a while. I've been having a lot of conversations with the women in my life about what life is really about. What makes us feel accomplished and complete? What makes us satisfied? I didn't interview anyone in particular for this but the consensus that I've been hearing from everyone is peace of mind and better relationships.
We as women want to be proud of our decisions. Women want to be happy individuals first so that we can fulfill all of our other roles. I always imagined that as a woman I would be a triple threat. I always thought that that's what success would look like. Having a banging nine to five with a well paying salary and Olivia Pope wardrobe and still being able to cook for my family every night and make it to every practice, game or recital that my children have. That's what I thought success was when I was a young twenty something. Now I realize that success is so much more than that. In fact, it's so much simpler than that.
Success to me is knowing that I am truly doing my best. It's treating people the way I would like to be treated. Success is knowing in my heart of hearts that I am not the perfect wife or the perfect mother. There is a certain freedom that comes with accepting that in which you can not change about yourself. I will always be a neat freak type A planner who's anxious about more than I need to be. There is success in just knowing and accepting.
For me, success also gained a new meaning when I became a stay at home Mom. I no longer attach success to commissions or where my name is on a list with other sales people. These days I feel most successful when I am able to be at peace within my mind. As a woman I feel like we worry about so much. We worry about our kids, our independence, the way we look, how we're perceived and the list goes on. When I gave up the idea that the being the triple threat wasn't the only key to success as a woman I felt so empowered.
I no longer feel "less than" the next twenty something for not working. We all have our own ideas about what makes us feel whole and at peace with ourselves. Some women can't get that feeling without having a successful relationship. Some women can't get that feeling without being on the fast track in their career. Some women can't get that feeling without being a Mom. Some women can't get that feeling without being the "perfect" size. Whatever your idea of success is my hope for you is that you find it. There is such a great relaxing peace that comes with it.
I have come to a place where I truly accept that every day is not going to be perfect. I will face my share of disappointments and tough times. It's all okay and things will always get better. They always do. Worrying doesn't do much for the aging process so I've decided to give it up and just let go.
What do you think we as women want? What is success to you?
At this point, success is having both kids fed, clean and happy. Everything else can wait!
ReplyDeleteVery true. I have been trying to make an effort to remember myself lately. My kids are always taken care of but I could really benefit from giving myself some more time to focus on me.
DeleteWOW!!! Very awesome post! Success to me is being able to be the mother & wife I've always wanted to be without losing my sense of identity :)
ReplyDeleteThat's an awesome goal!! I try to do the same thing!
DeleteGreat topic! There was a study done a few years ago that showed that even though people have been making more money, there is no correlation between the increase in their finances, and their happiness levels. In fact, it shows just the opposite. So I'm a firm believer in not measuring "success" by the amount of money in your bank. You can have all the money in the world and still be terribly unhappy and alone.
ReplyDelete-Reese
I agree. Every time I watch an episode of the Real Housewives I am reminded of that. Those women are financially stable yet they're still crazy and so unsettled.
DeleteThat is the key.. Finding your level of success. It is amazing how hard it is to do that and stick by it no matter what others have to say. I have found my idea of it and it is changing and I am going to adjust to the shift.
ReplyDeleteThe main point is doing you. I've figured that part out. That is over half of the battle. Great post.
Thank you! I agree with you. Finding your own level of success and sticking to it is the key. It's hard not to feel like I should be doing more (or something else), but I'm trying.
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