Preschool Has Changed My Life...

We have successfully started the second week of school. This morning when I dropped Savannah off she didn't even say goodbye. While I was putting my daily info on the sign-in sheet she escaped to her class. By the time I was done signing my name she had joined a group of friends playing legos.

I was so proud. She goes to school like a boss.

Once she's dropped off at school the baby and I either go for a run or we start tackling my to-do list.

I can not even put into words how amazing it has been to get things done during the morning. Everyday I have four sweet hours to clean, cook and spend time with Little Mike. There have even been days where he takes a nap while she's in school. Pure bliss.

We have moved our school time to the evenings after dinner. Since we eat dinner pretty early this works out well for us and they are still in bed at seven thirty.

Because I am getting time on the front end of my day to tackle things I feel less stressed and overwhelmed during the day. I can spend time with them knowing that I've done "enough" for the day. There will be another four hours tomorrow to get more things done.

On Mondays and Tuesdays I do my heavy cleaning and I use the rest of the week for laundry. So far this has been working out well for me.

I feel like a new woman. Which I know sounds crazy. Who gets excited about more time to clean and cook? Apparently, me.

My afternoons are actually enjoyable now. For example, this afternoon I'll be taking Savannah's four year old pics. It feels good to be able to blog or doing something nice for myself without feeling like I have a list of other things I'm neglecting.

one afternoon we played a little soccer. something that I would have never felt like we had time for  before.

I didn't know how I'd feel about her starting preschool but now I know it was the right decision for us. I'm a much better person to be around and I think I'm even sleeping better too.

Thought Bubbles...

Just went down to the fridge to get a bottle of water. The only bottle left was frozen. Not good…

I ended up chugging the last sip of wine from the bottle…

How is it possible that there was even a sip left in that bottle…

I've been running the latest Operation SnapBack challenge. It's thirty miles for the month of September. I'm a mile shy of being halfway done…


I'm thinking about adding the Kelly Rowland & Jeanette Jenkins 6 week Sexy Abs Cardio Sculpt Bootcamp Challenge to my fitness regimen…

Tonight was shampoo day for Savannah. Every time I detangle her hair I thank God my second child was a boy…

Speaking of hair I thought I'd bring my "Vegas" hair back out, LOL! I needed a little pick me up from the summer. Nothing picks me up like a fresh 'do...

Bought a LBD during an online Labor Day sale. Tried it on last night and had a complete "D*B* you look good" moment…
Can't wait to wear that thing…
On another note. No shade intended but why do women tag their husbands in all their social media posts? Like, for real, what's that about? Can't seem to wrap my head around that one…
I have a Daddy and he ain't my husband. Sips tea…
Does anyone else watch Don't Be Tardy on Bravo? There's something so entertaining about Kim…
I will be creating a Fall wardrobe shopping list. It will mostly consist of shoes…
Still can't believe we're out of bottled water. How did I let that happen…
The FYI show Married at First Sight was so good. My predictions for which couples would stay together were spot on. I could do a whole post on what I think about Vaughn & Monet…
Savannah's birthday is coming up. Can't believe she's almost four…
Football season has arrived. I don't like watching actual games but I do enjoy watching all the ESPN commentary…
Cheers to the freakin' weekend...

A Rant About the Kindergarten Checklist Pin

Okay Mommy friends. You might remember this post  where I shared some of the learning goals for Savannah between now and next year when she starts school. Well. In that post I had a pretty little checklist that I thought other Moms would find helpful so I pinned it.

The response has been overwhelming. Thank you to anyone that pinned, liked or shared this pin with a friend. I really appreciate it. The amount of people that "liked" this pin outweigh the naysayers and negative nancies. However, I would be lying if I told you I wasn't confused about some of these comments.

For starters, I would consider myself a good "Mommy friend". Meaning that I'm not critical of what my friends or other Moms choose to do with their kids. I have friends with kids in private school, public school and I have friends who homeschool. All of them made the decision that they felt was best for their child. Now. While I may joke with my friends about things (like how many of them think I should continue to homeschool and I already know I'm not 'bout that homeschool life long term - at least I feel that way now - things could change…) I don't ever make them feel like their decision is wrong. 

That's just not how I get down. If you like it, I love it. If you want to teach your child everything from the basics to multiplication and how DNA works all before Kindergarten - good for you. If you only want to cover the basics with your kid - good for you. And lastly, if you don't want to teach your child anything before they start school then do you boo but that's not how I operate.

As a stay at home Mom I feel that I would be doing my children a disservice if I didn't at least try to give them a stronger foundation for learning. I am home with them everyday. Everyday we have an opportunity to learn something. Sure we still play and have lots of fun but in my house education comes first. It always will. So, there's no point in waiting until they start school for them to learn that. They need to know that now. Those are the expectations we have for our children. 

I strongly believe that a child is capable of learning anything as long as their is someone willing to teach them. That willing person also has to believe that the child is capable of learning. He or she will also need tons of patience and a little time. 

I didn't create that pin to make anyone feel inadequate about their own decisions. I made it for parents like me that want to expose their child to as much as possible. Learning can be fun and is a great way to bond with your child. We are our children's first teachers. I will always push my kids to go above and beyond what the standard is. That is what you can expect to find here. 

Be a good Mommy friend and support what your fellow Moms are doing. This is the last time I will address the Kindergarten pin (here, on twitter and my email). Be comfortable enough in your decisions to not be swayed, upset or critical of what someone else is doing. 

Before I go I also just want to encourage everyone to not ever come for Savannah's (or BabyM's) mind again unless it sends for you. I would hate for you to meet "Ratchet Mommy". She isn't about being politically correct for the internet and I don't think she knows Jesus. 

Thanks again for all the positive support. It means more than you know!

Preschool at Home: Establishing a Routine for Learning

Whew. Hello. I feel like I have been neglecting the blog a lot lately. A while ago I talked about simplifying our schedule by taking a couple weeks to quiet my life and regroup. That's where I've been the past couple weeks. Quieting our routine so that I can get a good understanding of what can stay and what can go.

The weather here has been beautiful. Hello Spring. We've been hanging out at the playground a lot. Once the triple digits hit in a couple months it'll be hard to get out to play so I'm trying to let Savannah soak up sun while she can...


It has been really great enjoying them. Taking the time to worry less and play more has been a huge sense of relief for me. It also gave me the time to determine exactly what I want our schedule to be going forward. It's hard to revise your schedule/routine when you're always doing something or going somewhere. While all of her activities were on Spring Break last week I took that opportunity to really figure out what's going to work best for us.


I discovered a lot. Mainly that we were not getting nearly as much playtime in as I thought. Don't get me wrong we were going to play dates, classes and dance but my little family wasn't getting much play time together. We were playing with everyone else but each other, LOL!

As Savannah approaches the age of four and BabyM turns one I want us to settle into what I think is going to be the routine that works for us. It's a 50/50 learn and play routine. The best of both worlds. In the mornings we'll do all of our learning and development. When the baby goes down for his nap Sav and I normally eat lunch. Once he's up, we'll play together until it's time to make dinner. We can go to a playground or play some of her board games. Whatever she wants.

handwriting practice. she's getting better. we've got to work on that backwards N though.

During my little hiatus I also figured out exactly what our learning goals are going to be. I know what I want to teach them. I'll share my goals for learning in a different post. So far our new schedule has been working out really well. I still have some fine tuning to do with grocery shopping and housework. It's a work in progress but at least I can say we are progressing.
Have you changed your family schedule lately? Have any plans to?

What I Hate About SAHMs...

Like any job there are things that you like and there are things that you don't. I already shared one thing that I can't stand about this job. I said I would be back with more and here I am. Let's be real. No one likes everything about what they do for a living. SAHMs are no different. It's okay to say that you might hate the fact that there is always going to be that one Mom that makes you feel inadequate.

Just like that rock star at a traditional job that's always getting all the bonuses and certificates. This Mom is always dressed to a tee. Her makeup is done. Her hair is done. She's been to the gym. Her family is eating a super healthy organic paleo diet. This lady has like four kids and they all look like little GAP ad models. Of course they speak two different languages, can write their names, read, count and recite the Declaration of Independence. Did I mention that they were all three. Quadruplets. All potty trained. 

Yep. She's the Mom that makes the rest of us look bad. But we allow it. We allow what other women are doing with children that we don't even really know to somehow make us feel less than. I hate that about this job. Sometimes the pressure to win the Mommy Olympics is too much. 

The pressure. The pressure to have it all together everyday. It's so unrealistic. After all, don't people have a bad day at their traditional jobs? I know I did. 

Thought Bubbles...

I have so much to do but I'm sitting here watching TV and blogging…

I really should be cleaning…

Have y'all been watching Blood Sweat and Heels? Melissa Ford's eyebrows wear me out…

My recent discovery of Funky Dineva on YouTube has changed my life. He's hilarious…

I mixed up this little concoction during the Super Bowl. It was better than the game...



I wonder if I can fit all my stuff in one bag. Including shoes. Probably not…

BabyM is growing so fast. He ate a good bit of my broccoli at dinner tonight…

I'm looking forward to the talk radio show I'll be hosting starting this month. Will you be listening?...


Again. I really should be cleaning…

I hope Nina wins Top Chef. She's been killing it all season…

The internet was so quick to start making fun of Peyton Manning…

I got a new lip color the other day. The lady at MAC did an awful job helping me. Still contemplating calling them to complain…

After the game proved itself to be a total blowout I wished RHOA had aired a new episode…

I still get a kick out of this meme...


It's the perfect expression…
I guess I'll go clean now. But I don't want to...

What I Hate about SAHMs...

Before anyone emails me this post is not really about what I hate about SAHMs. It's more about what I hate about the ideas and stereotypes that are associated with this job. I just finished reading a very popular blog post where a woman is talking about remembering your spouse after you become a Mom. Nice. I'm all for that.

Then she said something that as a SAHM I hate to hear or see. She mentioned something about not having had a bath in days and being covered in baby food, poo and anything else that babies tend to leave around to mark their territories. Can I just say that I hate hearing women say that? That they haven't bathed in days. I always secretly hope that that's an over exaggeration. I mean. I'm just as busy as the next Mama. I barely get any sleep at night and yes my chores get piled up just like you. But. You can best believe before I climb into bed and snuggle up next to my husband that I do not smell like baby vomit or baby poop or spoiled breast milk.

That's just not sexy. And while this job isn't one that I would describe as sexy I still like to give my husband the illusion that I've 'got this'. Even though that's not true everyday and somedays it may be an out right lie. Call me crazy but that's how I escape from it all. By taking a bath and feeling pretty. That makes me feel like Tia and not Sav's Mama or BabyM's pacifier.

It makes me feel like someone's wife. Even if it's only for a few hours I get to be something other than a Mom. So. Please SAHMs of America please stop telling people (even if it's true) that you haven't been able to bathe in days. I'm not sure how that's even possible but please let's stop putting that out into the world. That SAHMs are women who are overwhelmed (which is true, I've been there), messy, frumpy women who have no life outside of their children. Even if it's true (and sometimes it is) can we all agree to stop putting that image out into the world?

Some days I do look like a beat down mess and I am tired. What I won't do is project that tired energy on to the people around me or my husband. (who, by the way, is tired too)

Sometimes we force the stereotypes on ourselves. There will be a follow up to this post. Leave your comments below.

The Human Pacifier

Last night it occurred to me that I have become a human pacifier. Not all day though. Just from two AM until about five in the morning. Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? I don't know when it happened or how it happened but lately sleep around here has been hard to get. Following in his sister's footsteps, I am now in another sleepless stage. Not complaining. Just catching you up on where I'm at with BabyM.

I would like to attribute his night waking to his teeth. He's teething now and that could be causing him some discomfort. Sometimes I think that he could be looking for me during that time. More often than I would like to admit I fall asleep while nursing him during those hours. It's possible that he's grown accustom to being with me so he wakes up to call for me.

Either way.

It's time to actually sleep train before it get's worse. I haven't really had to sleep train him up till this point so I hope it goes okay. I can't keep going night after night without adequate rest. He needs his sleep too. Savannah didn't stop night waking until I stopped breastfeeding. I wonder if that will be the case this time?

He's not really waking up a lot but he's incredibly restless and in a wakeful sleep state from two to five. Every night. I've got to figure out something soon. I gave up Dr.Pepper so I don't even have caffeine to help push me through the day. What's a Mom to do? Anyone else go through this? How long did it take you to get your baby back on a good sleeping schedule?

Army Wife Life: Being Homesick

Today I am going to share something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Some of you might know, but for those that don't, I am an Army Wife. I rarely ever talk about the military here. There's really not much to say. My husband has been in for almost nine years. I have really enjoyed this lifestyle for the most part. Moving constantly is kind of rough but it's also very exciting and you get somewhat use to the adventure.

Up until now I've never really been homesick. We have always been blessed enough to be stationed in driving distance to family. Living this far away from the people that really know you and get you is tough sometimes. Sometimes I just want to meet a friend for lunch without it being a scheduled "date". I just miss the feeling of having friends that are like family. The easiness of that relationship.

pin

Before any military spouses start attacking me about "getting out there" and "meeting people" I just want to say that I am out there and I have met people. I've met a couple great people who I know will be lifelong friends and I've met some people that I wish I hadn't. As an Army Wife I feel like I'm constantly in that "getting to know you" stage of friendships. I have learned that it's a double edge sword. I can either dive right in and become "instant friends" with someone. (which isn't my preference) Or I can take my time getting to know people. The only problem with that is by the time you really become great friends it's time to move again. It sucks.

Anyway. I know I'm not the only Army Wife that feels this way. We have our good days and our bad days. If it wasn't for the few friends that I do have here I'd probably be counting down the days until we move again. Hopefully this post wasn't too all over the place. Does anyone get where I'm coming from?

Thought Bubbles...

I had lunch with a girlfriend today. It was so good to laugh and have girlfriend time…

We ate at Panera. I got the Greek Salad with Shrimp. It was bangin…

BabyM slept for 12 hours straight on New Year's Eve. Every night since then he has been up all night. He's my real, "We be all night…" (that's a Beyonce a song)

I keep saying I'm going to start using my grown up camera for the blog. One day I'm going to actually do it…

Recently I decided that I prefer mustard greens over collard greens…

I think I'm going to start getting Glamour magazine again. They mailed me an offer I can't refuse…

Or maybe it was the begging on the envelope that got me…

I have been working out. I can barely walk the stairs in my house. I cringe every time I have to make a trip carrying one of these kids…

It's gotten cold in Texas. I have become a hermit crab and I am secretly loving it…

I just remembered to track the shipping on an online clothing purchase. C'mon Thursday…

So glad that things are getting back to normal after the holidays…

Our fish Mr.Purple recently died. I wasn't sad. I was relieved to be free of bowl cleaning duties. Bad. I know…

Savannah 'made' me on the computer yesterday. Her replication of me was pretty spot on…

Currently watching Vanderpump Rules. I am always surprised when they say how old they are…

Someone mentioned to me that I should be taking bathing suits on our trip. That won't be happening…

I've been homesick a lot recently…

I want to try eyelashes for my Flirty30 but I don't want to look like a cheap baby doll when I blink…

I am contemplating getting a pair of Chuck Taylors. We shall see…

Only because they are the only shoe that I think will work with a dress I have during the cooler months…

My husband goes back to work in the morning. I'm just trying to figure out who's going to bring me the  breakfast I had grown accustomed to getting these past two weeks...

The Mommy Olympics

Can I just say that motherhood and parenting is not a competition. It's not a sport. You're not going to get a trophy or a prize when you're child meets certain milestones, goes off to college or turns out to be a stand up human being. I'll double check with my Mom but I am pretty sure she hasn't received any kind of award for being a great Mother. (other than the sheer joy of seeing how awesome me and my brothers are)

You would think that just seeing your child do well would be enough of a 'prize'. The gratification and the unconditional love you receive from your child should be all the praise one needs for being a good parent. But nope. Some of these Moms out here need to know that their child is best and first. Your child started sitting up before mine? That's nice. Your child started sleeping through the night before mine? That's great. Annnnd guess what?

I don't care. All children grow and change in their own time.

I am not in competition with any other Mom. None of us are. The best thing we can all do for ourselves  is to stay in our own lane with our own kids. Focus on what's going on with your own children. Someone else's kid may be 'doing more' than your child. Their child might be 'more behaved' but focusing on that does absolutely nothing for me or my kids.

So. The next time any of us find ourselves comparing the parenting, development or behavior of another to our own let's remember…this is not (ain't) the olympics. She's not going to get a gold medal for what she's doing with her kids and you're not going to get a bronze medal for what you're doing with yours.

There is no first, second or third place.

I am not in competition with her. She's not in competition with me.

It's not like any of us will be getting rated or evaluated for a possible promotion so stop competing with that woman.

This is not a race. There is no finish line. There are no trophies or medals. She is not winning. You are not losing.

REPOST: The Smother Mother

Originally posted March 5, 2012

A term I resent. What is a smother mother? She can only be defined as a woman who is most often times surrounded by her children. She keeps a close eye on them. Some would say that she is over protective. The smother mother has the ability to hover in a way that makes others wonder about her technique. Other mothers would probably say that the smother mother needs a little break. I disagree.

As a self diagnosed smother mother I would first like to make it known that a smother mother can not help it. Mainly because she doesn't see her behavior as anything but loving. I can only speak for myself but I truly do not see what the issue is. Honestly, it hardly ever crosses my mind to do anything without my daughter. It's almost as if my mind can't even compute the thought. Apparently the part of my brain that tells you to hire a babysitter just doesn't work.

I have had several people offer to babysit so that my husband and I could enjoy some time alone. I do not mind leaving her for the occasional dinner, it's the idea that something is wrong with me because I won't leave her more often that disturbs me. For the record, I am not afraid that anything is going to happen to her. I trust that my friends and family are more than capable to watch her. The truth is, I just like having her around. I enjoy her company. Go figure. As tiny as she is, she is the life of the party. My family is more complete with her and I feel like something is missing when she's away. Would I have an amazing time on a solo date with my husband? Absolutely. Do I feel like our experience is different when we're out as a group? Not at all.

I have enjoyed every second of my daughter's existence. I have not missed a moment. I remember her first tear, her first laugh and the first time she got the hiccups. I even have two out of those three on tape! Whenever I do decide to spend a weekend away I want to make sure I can do it with no regrets. Right now, I can't say that I could do that. I also know that if I am going to spend any long period of time away it needs to be worth it. I'm not dropping her off somewhere, just to return home. What kind of "break" is that? My break will involve sand between my toes and the sun on my skin.

So, in conclusion, do not fear the smother mother. Her heart is in the right place, she just wants peace of mind. We should all focus our attention on the "other mother". The woman who's children are always with a nanny or a family member. Her weekends are always free, and unlike the smother mother she appears to not have a care in the world. That mother will wake up one day and wonder where the time went. I won't. If you check my laptop I can show you where the time went. I have the pictures and videos to prove it.

Who am I kidding? I have to admit, there is something to be admired about the other mother. Who knows, maybe when my daughter is a little older I'll become a nice hybrid mix of the other and the smother. I'm getting there, but until then I'm smothering and hovering my life away.

Thought Bubbles...

I'm sitting here watching Scandal. This show has got to be one of the best things TV has done for me in a while… Where is Cyrus' little black baby they adopted last season? Baby Ella got laid down in her crib on one episode and I ain't seen her since…

There are Christmas presents that need wrapping. I've gotten behind on them. I'm not a good wrapper so I need to get on that. Like yesterday…

Tomorrow I'm not doing anything other than feed these kids and hang out around this house. Maybe I'll do a load of laundry. Maybe…

My posts are now aligned to the left. Today it's the margin, tomorrow it's the world…

I will not exhaust myself trying to turn this blog into a business. Started as a hobby and we still here…

Savannah will be in an upcoming video honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.. I can't wait to see it...

I would also like to add that she did very well listening to everyone on set. We took her for a smoothie afterwards for doing a great job… It has been pretty fun putting outfits together for my trip but now I understand why people have stylists… I have cut back on the amount of Dr.Pepper I consume. I can already tell a difference in my skin and tummy… I'll be glad when this "fun food" season is over… Very excited about switching up my hair soon… This isn't shocking to my regular readers at all but I'm now watching Andy Cohen… I really wanted Face to Face Fridays to happen. It didn't… Look at my big boy sitting up at Sav's class this morning. He's doing so much these days...
Is anyone watching Rihanna's Styled to Rock?…   I can hear Savannah coughing in her sleep. I hate what Texas has done to her. Never even had a cold until we moved here… Did I mention how excited I am about lounging tomorrow… Oh. And Bey just dropped an album. And it's fire…
UPDATE: Loving Bey's album and all the catchy lyrics…

The Misconception of the SAHM

You know what? Sometimes people really kill me. Some of them may not mean any harm or they might just be clueless to this Mommy life. Either way I have been surprised by the number of people that think they need to give me an alternative to staying at home. 

When people say, "I know someone who's hiring if you ever want to get out of the house…" in a pitiful tone, like they feel bad for me, it makes me want to curse. In my outside voice. Now if I was looking for a job, then yes, by all means, share your leads with me. But you have never heard me mention or complain about my lack of things to do or need to get back in a traditional job.

If you want to invite me somewhere, invite me out for a couple drinks and some cute social food that requires a drive-thru on the way home. Invite me to that. But please keep that "I feel sorry for you" tone to yourself. Cause guess what? I'm not sad or bored. I actually like staying home with my kids. Yes, it's hard work and the hours are long. Nope, I don't get that much free time or adult interaction but I like what I do. I have no regrets or bad feelings about choosing this as my job.

Do. Not. Feel. Bad. For. Me. I am very happy living this Mommy life. Yes I get frustrated and sometimes I want to quit but that's par for the course with any job. Every job ain't (yes ain't) for everybody but I am glad that this job seems to agree with me. Sometimes I mess up and sometimes I get it right. Do not misinterpret my tired glaze as a longing for something more. The only thing I want more of these days is sleep, not more responsibility.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, make it a great one folks!