This past weekend my husband and I got out for a very rare date night. We normally only get out for dates when family comes to visit. Because of that I have gotten pretty good at creating date nights at home and had become extremely comfortable with that.
Maybe too comfortable.
Anyway. When a friend of mine offered to come over so that we could enjoy a night out I happily accepted.
At first I was so worried about how the kids would do and if my house was clean enough to have a friend over in my absence. Then I remembered that the last time we went out as a couple was in February… when we were in Vegas.
It then occurred to me that I have become one of those people who gets into a routine and never looks left or right for a little spontaneity. My routine and schedule had literally become everything to me. If it's not in my planner the chances of it happening are pretty slim.
Our date nights at home are fun and convenient (and necessary) but nothing beats getting all dressed up and going out. I had no idea I missed getting dressed up so much. What was even more shocking was that I had no idea how much more I'd feel like myself. Like the old me.
I didn't know I was missing the old me. I had no idea that I'd feel different after going out but I certainly did. Even though I'd like to think that I haven't lost any parts of myself apparently some part of me had been slightly stifled.
Because I have been operating on auto pilot it never crossed my mind that I actually needed to get fixed up and get out of my house after seven. I learned that putting on cute mommy outfits and going to the grocery store and Target are not the same as being done from head to toe for a night out.
That's where I got it twisted.
Family time and running errands isn't the same as a true date night. Even though we're always together nothing is like going on a real date. I had forgotten what that was like. When you're a military wife this is an easy rut to fall into. You get use to the idea of not being able (or feeling comfortable) to go out.
Before you know it you have trained your mind to forget about tapping into that side of yourself. Or at least that's what happened to me.
Having a schedule and routine is great. For me, it is absolutely necessary. What I learned from date night was that I must also pencil in some time to be the old me. It's okay to accept the help of a friend and rely on someone else to give yourself a break when you need it. I didn't know that I needed to unplug but my friend did.
Think about the last time you had a chance to unplug. If it's been more than a couple months plan a night out. Don't be like me. Our trip to Vegas was nine months ago. I was long overdue for a night out.
How often do you get out for dates or time without your kids? Have you ever been blind to the fact that you needed to unplug? Share your stories with me in the comments!
