My "Wayment" Moment...

Today I was trying to do Savannah's hair while she having a picnic with a headless Princess Tiana and Peppa Pig. She kept moving and squirming and serving sandwiches and I became frustrated. Doesn't she know she has dance tonight? I have to get her hair done before we run errands and start dinner. She needs to sit still I kept thinking (and repeating over and over again).

While I was cooking dinner I decided to start researching some half day programs. My baby girl will be four this year. As I was seasoning ribs, talking on the phone to the preschool lady and listening to the baby cry Savannah kept asking me to blow up some balloons for her. "Can't you see I'm on the phone?", I thought.

After I got off the phone I started blowing up balloons. She was so happy. Twirling and playing as if she was seeing a balloon for the first time. That's when it hit me…

Wayment…[Pronounced: way•mint] 1. the act of saying, "wait a minute…" in a hurried fashion.

She will be starting school next school year. This is my last year having her home with me all day. This is it. She's going to be at school. With a teacher. In class. All day. My baby will be gone… at least from eight to twelve anyway, LOL!

So.

I am sharing this because it made me realize that maybe we take our kids for granted sometimes. It occurred to me to day that I am guilty of this. I have been letting her 3s work all my nerves lately. All of them. It has caused me not to truly enjoy the little moments. I should have been enjoying that picnic with her but I was too busy letting my frustrations get the best of me.

Can anyone else relate to this? Have you had a 'wayment' or aha moment lately?

The Human Pacifier

Last night it occurred to me that I have become a human pacifier. Not all day though. Just from two AM until about five in the morning. Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? I don't know when it happened or how it happened but lately sleep around here has been hard to get. Following in his sister's footsteps, I am now in another sleepless stage. Not complaining. Just catching you up on where I'm at with BabyM.

I would like to attribute his night waking to his teeth. He's teething now and that could be causing him some discomfort. Sometimes I think that he could be looking for me during that time. More often than I would like to admit I fall asleep while nursing him during those hours. It's possible that he's grown accustom to being with me so he wakes up to call for me.

Either way.

It's time to actually sleep train before it get's worse. I haven't really had to sleep train him up till this point so I hope it goes okay. I can't keep going night after night without adequate rest. He needs his sleep too. Savannah didn't stop night waking until I stopped breastfeeding. I wonder if that will be the case this time?

He's not really waking up a lot but he's incredibly restless and in a wakeful sleep state from two to five. Every night. I've got to figure out something soon. I gave up Dr.Pepper so I don't even have caffeine to help push me through the day. What's a Mom to do? Anyone else go through this? How long did it take you to get your baby back on a good sleeping schedule?

Army Wife Life: Being Homesick

Today I am going to share something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Some of you might know, but for those that don't, I am an Army Wife. I rarely ever talk about the military here. There's really not much to say. My husband has been in for almost nine years. I have really enjoyed this lifestyle for the most part. Moving constantly is kind of rough but it's also very exciting and you get somewhat use to the adventure.

Up until now I've never really been homesick. We have always been blessed enough to be stationed in driving distance to family. Living this far away from the people that really know you and get you is tough sometimes. Sometimes I just want to meet a friend for lunch without it being a scheduled "date". I just miss the feeling of having friends that are like family. The easiness of that relationship.

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Before any military spouses start attacking me about "getting out there" and "meeting people" I just want to say that I am out there and I have met people. I've met a couple great people who I know will be lifelong friends and I've met some people that I wish I hadn't. As an Army Wife I feel like I'm constantly in that "getting to know you" stage of friendships. I have learned that it's a double edge sword. I can either dive right in and become "instant friends" with someone. (which isn't my preference) Or I can take my time getting to know people. The only problem with that is by the time you really become great friends it's time to move again. It sucks.

Anyway. I know I'm not the only Army Wife that feels this way. We have our good days and our bad days. If it wasn't for the few friends that I do have here I'd probably be counting down the days until we move again. Hopefully this post wasn't too all over the place. Does anyone get where I'm coming from?

REPOST: The Smother Mother

Originally posted March 5, 2012

A term I resent. What is a smother mother? She can only be defined as a woman who is most often times surrounded by her children. She keeps a close eye on them. Some would say that she is over protective. The smother mother has the ability to hover in a way that makes others wonder about her technique. Other mothers would probably say that the smother mother needs a little break. I disagree.

As a self diagnosed smother mother I would first like to make it known that a smother mother can not help it. Mainly because she doesn't see her behavior as anything but loving. I can only speak for myself but I truly do not see what the issue is. Honestly, it hardly ever crosses my mind to do anything without my daughter. It's almost as if my mind can't even compute the thought. Apparently the part of my brain that tells you to hire a babysitter just doesn't work.

I have had several people offer to babysit so that my husband and I could enjoy some time alone. I do not mind leaving her for the occasional dinner, it's the idea that something is wrong with me because I won't leave her more often that disturbs me. For the record, I am not afraid that anything is going to happen to her. I trust that my friends and family are more than capable to watch her. The truth is, I just like having her around. I enjoy her company. Go figure. As tiny as she is, she is the life of the party. My family is more complete with her and I feel like something is missing when she's away. Would I have an amazing time on a solo date with my husband? Absolutely. Do I feel like our experience is different when we're out as a group? Not at all.

I have enjoyed every second of my daughter's existence. I have not missed a moment. I remember her first tear, her first laugh and the first time she got the hiccups. I even have two out of those three on tape! Whenever I do decide to spend a weekend away I want to make sure I can do it with no regrets. Right now, I can't say that I could do that. I also know that if I am going to spend any long period of time away it needs to be worth it. I'm not dropping her off somewhere, just to return home. What kind of "break" is that? My break will involve sand between my toes and the sun on my skin.

So, in conclusion, do not fear the smother mother. Her heart is in the right place, she just wants peace of mind. We should all focus our attention on the "other mother". The woman who's children are always with a nanny or a family member. Her weekends are always free, and unlike the smother mother she appears to not have a care in the world. That mother will wake up one day and wonder where the time went. I won't. If you check my laptop I can show you where the time went. I have the pictures and videos to prove it.

Who am I kidding? I have to admit, there is something to be admired about the other mother. Who knows, maybe when my daughter is a little older I'll become a nice hybrid mix of the other and the smother. I'm getting there, but until then I'm smothering and hovering my life away.

Kid Free Anxiety

We are now a little under two months until my Flirty30 celebration. Time is flying a little too fast for me. I didn't think I would have so much anxiety about leaving the kids for a couple days but the closer we get to my birthday the more nervous I become. I have never been away from them for more than an hour or two so this is a big step for me.

I know that they'll be in good hands but I'm still having a hard time with thinking about being gone for a few days. Maybe it's because I'm still a relatively  new mom and still somewhat of a Smother Mother. I would like to think that it's hard for any woman to leave her kids for the first time. Today while talking to a friend I admitted that I'm not even that excited about the trip because I feel bad for leaving the kids.

I know I need to have some time away. I know I need to relax and have some fun kid free but knowing that doesn't make it any easier. My goal is to slowly begin to get excited. I can plan fun things for us to do, think about my outfits and know that the kids will enjoy being spoiled by their Grandmother.

After all, a Flirty30 isn't going to be all that fabulous if I'm a nervous wreck the whole time. How did you handle being away from your children overnight for the first time?