You know what? Sometimes people really kill me. Some of them may not mean any harm or they might just be clueless to this Mommy life. Either way I have been surprised by the number of people that think they need to give me an alternative to staying at home.
When people say, "I know someone who's hiring if you ever want to get out of the house…" in a pitiful tone, like they feel bad for me, it makes me want to curse. In my outside voice. Now if I was looking for a job, then yes, by all means, share your leads with me. But you have never heard me mention or complain about my lack of things to do or need to get back in a traditional job.
If you want to invite me somewhere, invite me out for a couple drinks and some cute social food that requires a drive-thru on the way home. Invite me to that. But please keep that "I feel sorry for you" tone to yourself. Cause guess what? I'm not sad or bored. I actually like staying home with my kids. Yes, it's hard work and the hours are long. Nope, I don't get that much free time or adult interaction but I like what I do. I have no regrets or bad feelings about choosing this as my job.
Do. Not. Feel. Bad. For. Me. I am very happy living this Mommy life. Yes I get frustrated and sometimes I want to quit but that's par for the course with any job. Every job ain't (yes ain't) for everybody but I am glad that this job seems to agree with me. Sometimes I mess up and sometimes I get it right. Do not misinterpret my tired glaze as a longing for something more. The only thing I want more of these days is sleep, not more responsibility.
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, make it a great one folks!
I feel you on this post. It's funny when I talk to people sometimes and say I have a lot to do they make it seem like that's impossible from their tone. Maybe I'm assuming based on what these people have said in the past about "staying at home" or how they make it seem like everyone needs to go for a dream that is career related. Either way, stay at home moms get a bad rap. Ever since women starting getting comfortable going after careers, the SAHM has become "lazy" or something women just do for a season until they can get back to work lol.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think it confuses people when they find out that your current goals are centered around stay at home with your kids. I'm all for women being career driven and being mothers but I think women that choose to stay home should be celebrated as well.
DeletePREACH! I know we live in a culture that makes it almost shameful to stay at home and take care of your kids, but it really depresses me that people think so little of it. I love staying home with my son. I love this job I'm doing more than any "regular" job I've ever had. This effort is more worth it and has more direct results than any corporate job I can think of. And it is WORK. There's no slacking off. I know it's not for everyone, but if we can congratulate moms that want, or need, to work, then why can't we be taken seriously too?
ReplyDeleteGirl, yes!! I have had several really "good" jobs before I started staying home with my kids and this by far is the hardest job I've ever had.
DeleteYou just said a page full! This is SO true! I get so annoyed when I say I'm a SAHM and I get a look of pity or they automatically assume I am uneducated or can't get a job. People. Please! I chose to stay home. I am fully qualified and educated to get a job if I saw fit but my Husband and I have made this choice TOGETHER! Great Post!
ReplyDeleteExactly. I chose to stay home. I'm college educated and I have a pretty good resume. Like you said, my husband and made this choice together for our family. It works for us. I applaud the women that work but if a woman chooses not to then she shouldn't be looked at as "less than".
DeleteOoo I love a good rant! LOL But since people know I have been looking to work, I get the "you should be lucky you get to stay home" as if I'm ungrateful for this time. I know I have complaints but for now in my head I just want to help out financially as well. The opportunity hasn't presented itself yet for me to work at home. I don't know if. 9-5 is the answer but I'm gonna give it a shot. My job wouldn't be as taxing if my husband worked days. But you are right the women who work feel like it's not really a job.
ReplyDeleteAlso staying at home doesn't mean you "got it like that" like a Bravo TV wife. Sometimes that is a better financial decision for the family as well.
DeleteRight!!! I can imagine that your perspective it's equally as aggravating to be reminded of how great it is to stay home. Staying home is great but extra coins it does not provide, LOL!!! And you are so right about the Bravo TV housewife thing. I do not have it like NeNe Leakes. I am not "Rich" (in my NeNe voice) so this is a full time thing.
DeleteI completely understand where you're coming from. I have struggled with the whole SAHM complex for many years, prior to becoming a mother myself. I never really judged women who were SAHM moms, because my mother was one, but I have to say I didn't understand it. Even growing up with a mom who was fortunate enough to stay at home with me, I wasn't ever sure if I saw myself doing it. I was always so career driven, which is why I made sure I did everything I wanted to do in my career prior to marriage and kids. I did, however, always know that once I had kids that I would want to be at home with them. Now, with a newborn, I don't see how working mothers do it. Being a mom really is a full-time in and of itself. I can't even imagine not being at home with my son full-time. My husband and I too, have made the decision for me to be at home and we are completely happy and content with it. We are doing what we feel is best for our family, most importantly our kids and marriage.
ReplyDeleteTenns @ New Mama Diaries
I know there are people out there who want or have to go straight back to work after having a baby, but choosing to stay at home (in my opinion) is absolutely the best thing you can do for your kids in their early childhood if you have the luxury of being able to afford it. I have 5 children, I'm at home (I have worked on and off throughout their lives - the eldest is 16, the youngest just 4 months) but I'm an artist and I work more here than if I went out to work somewhere! Being a Mum, or a Mom ;) is hard work and it doesn't stop at 5pm. I don't have days off 7 days a week are spent either blogging, on my art, paper crafts and looking after the children and the associated house cleaning and whatnot that comes with that (oh so much washing!). But I wouldn't have it any other way. We do what we can to reduce costs like making our own laundry detergent, buying in bulk and many other things, and we spend less than many families I know with less than half the amount of kids, lol!
ReplyDeleteGood on you if you can/want to choose to stay at home. Those that can't or don't want to shouldn't pass judgement anymore than SAHM's passing judgement on working Mums.
Plus....I would be so sad missing all those moments and smiles that happen randomly every day. :)
That's right. I know what you mean! I love staying at home too and working from home. Not easy combining the two but it's the best.
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